Thursday, October 17, 2019
Nursing Education Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words
Nursing Education - Essay Example Individual teachers and nursing professional were the key players in the realization of the early modernization of the nursing in the country. Foundations from America set up medical facilities facilitating to the increase in the spread of nursing in the country. Chinese modern nursing edification saw an early start compared to the other countries. Politically the government of China faced a period of nursing halt after the abolishment of the practice. When the government that abolished the practice collapsed in 1977, the practice came back to normal but left a gap of 30 years deficit in practice and development of the nursing profession. Therefore, Chinaââ¬â¢s nursing practice was significantly influenced by the political climate particularly the revolution. Ireland on the other hand was the last developed country to incorporate nursing into the university. The nightingale model of practice influenced nursing in Ireland. Since the profession was seen as subordinate to the needs o f the healthcare services. The prerequisite for development in the nursing education was acknowledged in a number of Irish administration policies. The decision to revolutionize the system in the country saw Irish nursing system come to parity with countries like U.S and New Zealand. However, the decision came because of profound factors of the political, economical, healthcare system and on the edification of the professionals who worked in the system. The reforms were called for due to the significant development in the country during the second half of the 20th century. Conversely, the countries entry into the European Economic Community forced more reforms into the nursing system in the country. The apprenticeship model was being faced out from the learning system. Government and Nursing Organizations Influencing Nursing Education in comparison to China and Poland Several organizations in the government provide assistance to the education modification process in China. These org anizations deal with the registration of the nursing population and edification of the nursing population. The Chinese department of health is the policy maker in the medical organizations. At present, the Chinese nursing association (CNA) is the main governing body in the nursing education of the country. Moreover, the national nursing licensure examination is one of the required credentials that one needs before one is declared a nurse. The Traditional Chinese medicine is incorporated in the Chinese system in order to find the basic professional practice in the system. Alternatively, Ireland has the health department that gives the guidelines on the running of the Irish healthcare system. Apart from the government involvement, Irish nursing system does not have many organizations for nursing. The ââ¬ËBord Altranaisââ¬â¢ is the Irish nursing board that determines the nursing professionââ¬â¢s continuity in the country. Current System of Nursing Education in comparison to Ch ina and Poland The current situation in education of Chinese nurses is a result of the recognized disparity in the education provision of the country and other developed nations. The government is focused on the upgrade of the countries education programmes to lift the condition of the countries education prospects. The current system lacks the maturity of the competence in the secondary nursing graduates to provide the adequate patient care. However, the
Wednesday, October 16, 2019
The History Subjects For Students Kindergarten Through Grade 12 Essay
The History Subjects For Students Kindergarten Through Grade 12 . African-Americans in Historic Perspective - Essay Example The idea of National Standards seemed to offer a way of composing a coherent narrative of American development and of establishing clear expectations of the historical knowledge to be acquired by students."1 The idea of developing standards in all subjects of K-12 grade picked up pace in 1990 when the then Bush administration launched the National Education Goals aimed at inter alia, "a new standard for an educated citizenry, one suitable for the next century.America can meet this challenge if our society is dedicated to a renaissance in education."2 These goals were determined in realization of the findings that the standard of education in the United States was not at par with other nations where students coming out of universities were more knowledgeable, better trained and creative. The National Education Goals initiative gave itself a time period of ten years, that is, by year 2000 when students in America will deal with their subjects in a more competent manner in that they will be more creative and better able to apply their mind to learning. The subjects students would learn with this new approach included English, mathematics, science, geography and more importantly history. The reasons behind setting these goals was nothing but preparing students for responsible citizenship, further learning, and productive employment in a modern economy. The 1983 report, A Nation at Risk also warned of a rapid decline in American students' academic achievements. But the truth, says Kevin Kosar in his new book Failing Grades, is that mediocrity "is not rising: it has been high for at least three decades."3 This chapter will look into the process of setting standards for the history subjects for students Kindergarten through Grade 12 and the notion of inclusion (and exclusion) in the American story with particular reference to the African-Americans. While the philosophy of what can safely be called rewriting the American history is that it does not necessarily have to be a narrative of extraordinary people and events but the ordinary people and ordinary events were as much important.Although the National History Standards initiative had bipartisan support and the process a dopted a participatory approach, the right-wing decided to take a snipe at the mention of certain people and events such as the Ku Klux Klan and McCarthyism and inclusion of African-Americans. The objection was also on presenting America's African heritage at the cost of down-grading the European heritage. The National Centre for History at the University of California Los Angeles was mandated with the task for formulating the National History Standards under the guidance of the National Council for History Standard
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Was Jesus Like Adam Before or After the Fall Research Paper - 1
Was Jesus Like Adam Before or After the Fall - Research Paper Example Each of the positions weighs greatly especially if one was to go by presentable evidence each side would produce. However, in the midst of this quagmire, Christians should not divorce their eyes and wisdom from the book of Ephesians 4: 21, ââ¬Å"we should not depend not only our understanding of the work of Christ but also our understanding of the way of life expected from each of us as we seek the truth that is in Jesusâ⬠1. As a result, this research adopts a relatively divergent path from the two positions and postulates that the nature of Christ is both manifested by fallen and un-fallen nature of Adam. The un-fallen nature of Adam is characterized by sinless and un-separatedness from God, which Christ has. On the other hand, fallen nature of Adam is characterized by physical strength, mental power, and moral worth, which again Christ can be associated with2. Nature of Adam before the fall The bible describes the man God created and placed in the land of Eden as one created in Godââ¬â¢s image. This man was Adam and as an image and spiritual creature of God, Adam possessed the image of God, which made him to remain connected to God. Adamââ¬â¢s original state was one of a sinless man who had favor from God. The sinless nature of this man was manifested through his purity and holiness, which made him to have an assured connection with God and at the same time, beloved by God3. Adam, in this state, was perfect and righteous. Adam in his original state is given noble powers by God as the head of earthly family who was to represent God and rule over other creatures. In this sense, the original Adam had Godââ¬â¢s gift of well-balanced mind, he was perfect in his being and constantly in harmony with God. At the same time, his thoughts were largely pure and his aims had an element of holiness The notion of the image of God and Sin The sinless nature of original Adam is what God had wished man to live. The image of God (Adam) was to remain pure, was to remain perfect, and exhibit no propensity to sin. The sinless state was to put Adam in constant and unlimited communication with God in a special and privileged way as compared to other creatures. In other words, the sinless man was to remain representative of God glory and heritage. Adam obedience in God was to be uncompromised and this is what was required of him. Nevertheless, Adam profaned this sinless nature when through temptations became sinful. Adam through devilââ¬â¢s temptations became disobedient to God, pervert and selfish. Adam became weakened as a result of committed sin and he subsequently became a victim of devil, unable to resist the power of evil4. The special connectedness of Adam and God was weakened, communication violated and closeness disrupted. As a result, Adam became captive to Satanââ¬â¢s evils, unable to resist and hence it needed intervention of God to rescue His image (Adam). Adam and Eve committed sin and this was to become permanent transgressio n human being can be associated with especially with regard to consequential effects. Angel M. Rodriguez observes that Adamââ¬â¢s actions of sins became the fountain source in which human disasters and troubles emanated due to angered nature of God5. Punishment for Adam and Eve became an appropriate avenue God displayed His displeasure with human race and consequently the aftermath of this punishment befell the human race. Sin therefore became
Monday, October 14, 2019
Greek Philosophy Essay Example for Free
Greek Philosophy Essay What Is Philosophy? â⬠¢Philosophy : The studies of Greco-Roman thinkers on activities and inquiries. It is also the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct. â⬠¢Philosophy focuses on three main types: â⬠¢Stoicism â⬠¢Skepticism â⬠¢Epicurean â⬠¢Philosophy consists of these philosophical areas: â⬠¢Metaphysics â⬠¢Materialism â⬠¢Idealism â⬠¢Epistemology â⬠¢Empiricism â⬠¢Rationalism â⬠¢Ethics â⬠¢Hedonism â⬠¢Cynicism Three Main Types Stoicism â⬠¢Refers to the knowledge of Aristotle oMind is a blank state, impressions are made by the 5 senses. â⬠¢Stoics deny the metaphysical points of view. oReal objects produce intense feelings. oThe body and soul are pairs that act and react to each other. Skepticism â⬠¢Examines as to what someone should believe- derived from Platos schooling â⬠¢Objections on skepticism: oIts commitment to knowledgeable limitation is nonexistent. oIf knowledge is limited and judgment is not expressed, life is presumed unlivable. Epicurean â⬠¢Formulated by Epicurus who believed philosophy was studied to make the soul happy. â⬠¢Happiness created with less wanting of materialistic things and more peace. Philosophical Areas Metaphysics â⬠¢Branch of philosophy accountable for the study of existence. oAnswers what is? â⬠¢The foundation of philosophy oWithout metaphysics, we would not be able to comprehend the world or act accordingly to it. Materialism â⬠¢Refers to the simple focus of the material world. oEverything in the universe is matter and matters. â⬠¢The philosophy is held by those who believed that material items are accountable for existence. Idealism â⬠¢Stresses the central ideal and spiritual interpretations of experiences. oThey believe world exists as a spirit â⬠¢Two forms: oMetaphysical idealism oEpistemological idealism Epistemology â⬠¢The investigation of grounds and nature of knowledge of the world. oFocuses on the knowledge of differences between truths and falsehood. â⬠¢Fundamental aspect to how we think. Empiricism â⬠¢Theory of experience as primary source to our knowledge of the world. oLearning through perception. â⬠¢Classical empiricism oRejection of innate, in-born knowledge and concepts â⬠¢Radical empiricism oExplains that all our knowledge is derived from our senses. â⬠¢Moderate empiricism oDescribes the exceptions to general empiristic rules. Rationalism â⬠¢Philosophical movement that introduced mathematical methods to philosophy. oCan be understood through mathematical and logicalà principles, not sensory experiences. Ethics â⬠¢Branch of philosophy dealing with what is the proper action for humans. oAnswers What do I do? â⬠¢Requirement for human life, decides course of action. Hedonism â⬠¢Doctrine that states that all pleasure is naturally acceptable- good for the soul. â⬠¢Nothing but pleasure is good. Cynicism â⬠¢Described as a way of life, which consists of asceticism, anti-conformism, and anti-conventionalism. â⬠¢Basis of cynicism is the virtue of well being and a happy life. Philosophers Socrates â⬠¢Possibly the wisest sage of all time â⬠¢Contributions to philosophy: oPithy sayings. oSocratic method of discussion oSocratic irony oSocratic method- saying he knows nothing and that unexamined life is not worth living â⬠¢Participated in the military during the Peloponnesian War. oCommitted suicide by ingesting poison hemlock. Plato Fun fact: Plato is not his original name- its Aristocles, but was later changed to Plato by his teachers â⬠¢Considered the most important philosopher to have ever lived- father of Idealism. â⬠¢Thought the human soul contained reason, spirit, and appetite. â⬠¢Student and follower of Socrates. â⬠¢Impacted math, science, morals, and political theories with hisà Legacy of the Academy schooling. Aristotle â⬠¢Student of Plato, teacher of Alexander the Great. â⬠¢Wrote on logic, nature, psychology, ethics, politics, and art. â⬠¢Developed deductive reasoning. â⬠¢Basis: Aristotles syllogism â⬠¢Church used Aristotle to explain doctrines in the Middle Ages. Concept of Prime Element â⬠¢Thales Attempted to find naturalistic explanations of the world; identified water as the ultimate principle. â⬠¢Pythagoras Creator of Pythagorean Theorem; believed earth was what encompassed all beings. â⬠¢Anaximenes Explained how air was universally present and is the source of all that exists. â⬠¢Heraclitus Disagreed with aforementioned philosophers and claimed fire was the classical element. â⬠¢Empedocles Created the cosmogenic theory that composed of the four classical elements: water, earth, fire, and air. Bibliography â⬠¢http://www. philosophybasics. com/movements_rationalism. html â⬠¢http://www. importanceofphilosophy. com/Ethics_Main. html â⬠¢http://philosophy. lander. edu/ethics/hedonism. html â⬠¢http://dictionary. reference. com/browse/philosophy%20? s=t â⬠¢http://ancienthistory. about. com/cs/people/p/aristotle. htm â⬠¢http://ancienthistory. about. com/od/platoprofile/p/Plato. htm â⬠¢http://ancienthistory. about. com/od/socratesbio/p/Socrates. htm â⬠¢http://www. historyforkids. org/learn/greeks/philosophy/ â⬠¢http://webspace. ship. edu/cgboer/athenians. html â⬠¢http://webspace. ship. edu/cgboer/greeks. html â⬠¢http://philosophy. gr/ â⬠¢http://philosophy. gr/hellinistic/cynics. htm â⬠¢http://www. newworldencyclopedia. org/entry/Greek_philosophy,_A ncient â⬠¢http://www. livius. org/gi-gr/greeks/philosophers. html â⬠¢http://www. historyforkids. org/learn/greeks/philosophy/ â⬠¢http://www. historyforkids. org/learn/philosophy/epicureans. htm â⬠¢http://www. iep. utm. edu/stoicmind/ â⬠¢http://www. iep. utm. edu/skepanci/.
Sunday, October 13, 2019
King of the Delta Blues Singers: Robert Johnson Essay -- essays papers
King of the Delta Blues Singers: Robert Johnson The life of Robert Johnson, one of the most influential early blues artists, in shrouded by vague details and encompassed in mystery. His emotion filled playing and singing blends to form some of the most moving, original blues music ever produced. Ironically, despite being one of the top influences to blues music, little is known about the shy, mild mannered bluesman. "Almost nothing, is known about his lifeâ⬠¦ he is only a name on a few recordings." Where did he come from? Who was Johnsonââ¬â¢s family. Who inspired Robert to play the blues and who influenced his music? Who exactly was Robert Johnson? Only the vague recollections of his friends and family link us to the mysterious life of Robert Johnson. From these accounts the story of Robert Johnson is brought to life, and the events which fueled his powerful music are pieced together. Robert Johnson was born on May eighth, 1911, in the heart of the Mississippi Delta. Robert was the eleventh child born to Mrs. Julia Dodds. Robertââ¬â¢s mother described little Robert as a playful little boy, who "Always used to be listenin, listenin to the wind or the chickens cluckin in the backyard or me, when Iââ¬â¢d be singin round the house. And he just love churchâ⬠¦ Little Robert set on my lap and try to keep time, look like, or hold on to my skirt and sort of jig up and down and laugh and laugh." (Lomax, 14) Thus, Robert was first introduced by his church into the world of music and was forever captured by its beauty. Mrs. Johnson didnââ¬â¢t have much trouble with Robert as a child but as he grew older, he became more and more intrigued about the extravagant life of the bluesmen, and taken by the spiritual music. He started following the musicians around, staying out all night, intrigued by the bluesmanââ¬â¢s free lifestyle. Anyone that had a guitar, little Robert would follow off according to his mother. "Sometimes he wouldnââ¬â¢t come home," Robertââ¬â¢s mother recalls, "and a whippin never did him no good." Mrs. Johnson feared the worst for Robert, she believed the guitar was the instrument of the devil and that the music he listened to was full of sin. Robert would ease her worries by playing church songs to her, yet this never erased the fear she held inside for her son. Robert was captured by the mystery surrounding the life of the bluesmen. The women, gam... ...the blues. In 1990 a collection of Robert Johnsonââ¬â¢s songs were put together in a two disk collection of his work. This CD set won a Grammy and sold over half a million copies. Johnson was inducted into the Hall of Fame twice, first in 1980 and again a second time as an early influence in 1986. Johnsonââ¬â¢s mysterious, shadowy life and beautiful, emotion packed songs will continue to intrigue the minds of many for years to come. Bibliography: Booth, Stanley. Rhythm Oil. New York; Pantheon Books, 1991. Finn, Julio. The Bluesman. Brooklyn; Interlink Books, 1992. Guralnick, Peter. Searching For Robert Johnson. New York; Obelisk Books, 1989. "Johnson, Robert." CD-ROM. Grolier Multimedia Encyclopedia 1996. Feb. 4. "Johnson, Robert." Encarta Online. Jan., 1999. Jan 23, 1999.. Lomax, Alan. The Land Where the Blues Began. New York; Pantheon Books, 1993. "Robert Johnson." Johnson, Robert. Dec., 1999. Jan. 23., 1999. . "Robert Johnson." Robert Johnson. May, 1999. Jan. 23.,1999. Shirley, David. Every Day I sing The Blues: The Story of B.B. King. Danbury; Grolier Publishing, 1995. "Welcome to the Crossroads" Robert Johnson. Jun., 1998. Jan., 1999..
Saturday, October 12, 2019
Karl Marx :: essays research papers
The late 1800's was a time period where new ideas, theories, and philosophies ran through the minds of many young people. Amongst them was a man be the name of Karl Marx who stood out in the crowd. Known as a man of great integrity and intelligence, Marx was thought to be one of the greatest thinkers of all time. "Philosophy and Myth in Karl Marx: 2nd Edition" by Robert C. Tucker is a book about Marx and his philosophies. Robert C. Tucker in this book ventures out to critique and give an interpretation of Marx's philosophical thoughts. Marx's was the man who was responsible for the well known and highly acclaimed philosophy of Marxism also known as Communism. Karl Marx was born in the German Rhineland to a well-cultured family, one that was not revolutionary. As a young man he received a classical education. Marx entered the University of Berlin where he read law, majoring in history as well as philosophy. His years at the university was the time period that was a turning point in Marx's life. From his early school days, philosophy had been a subject that sparked interest in Karl Marx. He was greatly concerned with humans' freedom and reviving the ancient concept of communism. The University of Berlin was where Marx had first become acquainted with the philosophy of Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel. Hegel's ideas known, as Hegelianism was the concept where the main focus was a self- alienated man. Man should worship himself as a Superior Being. What attracted Marx to Hegel was his "surmounting of the characteristic difficulty of idealism." However, when Marx was later introduced to the philosophies of Feuerbach, his thou ghts completely changed. According to Feuerbach,"man has so far in history lived primarily a life of religion, and that the essences of religion is man's estrangement from himself," At the same time of Marx becoming acquainted with these thoughts, he was jumping from one place to another causing his family to live in wretched poverty. Later on, using both the concepts of Hegelianism and of Feuerbach, Marx arrived at the formulation of his own philosophical anthropology. He first states that the primary determinant of history is economics where the history of society is viewed as the history of class struggle between the bourgeoisie and the proletariats. The bourgeoisie are successful by extracting money from the proletariats for profit.
Friday, October 11, 2019
Night World : Huntress Chapter 9
No. This can't be happening. Jez had never felt anything like this before, but she knew instinctively that it was dangerous. She was being pulled into Morgead's mind. She could feel it surrounding her, enfolding her, a touch that was light but almost irresistible, that was trying to draw out the most secret part of herself. And the most frightening thing was that Morgead wasn't doing it It was something outside both of them, something that was trying to mix them together like two pools of water being stirred. Jez could feel that Morgead was as startled and astonished as she was. The only difference was that he didn't seem to be resisting the force. He didn't seem terrified and unhappy about it, as Jez was. He seemedâ⬠¦ exhilarated and wondering, like somebody skydiving for the first time. That's because he's crazy, Jez thought dizzily. He loves danger and he enjoys courting death- I enjoy you, a voice said in her mind. Morgead's voice. Soft as a whisper, a feather-touch that shook Jez to her soul. It had been so long since she'd heard that voice. And he had heard her. Sharing blood made even humans telepathic. Jez hadn't been able to talk mentally since- She managed to cut the thought off as panic surged through her. While one part of her mind gabbled desperately, ââ¬Å"He's here, he's here, he's inside, what are we going to do now?â⬠another part threw up a smokescreen, flooding her thoughts with visions of mist and clouds. There was something like a swift gasp from Morgead. Jez. don't. Don't hide from me- You're not allowed here, she snapped back, this time directing the thought straight at him. Go away! I can't. For just a moment his mental voice sounded confused and scared. She hadn't realized Morgead could be confused and scared. I'm not doing this. It's just-happening. But it shouldn't be happening, Jez thought, and she didn't know whether she was talking to him or just to herself. She was beginning to shake. She couldn't resist the pull that was trying to bring her soul to the surface and intermingle it with Morgead's-she couldn't. It was stronger than anything she'd ever experienced. But she knew that if she gave in, she was dead. Don't be afraid. Don't, Morgead said in a voice she had never heard from him before. A voice of desperate gentleness. His mind was trying to wrap around hers protectively, like dark wings shielding her, touching her softly. Jez felt her insides turn to water. No. Noâ⬠¦ Yes, Morgead's voice whispered. She had to stop this-now. She had to break the contact. But although Jez could still feel her physical body, she seemed powerless to control it. She could sense Morgead's arms supporting her and his lips on her throat and she knew that he was still drinking. But she couldn't so much as move a finger to push him away. The muscles that she'd trained so ruthlessly to obey her under any circumstances were betraying her now. She had to try another way. This shouldn't be happening, she told Morgead, putting all the energy of her terror behind the thought. I know. But that's because you're fighting it. We should be somewhere else by now. Jez was exasperated. Where else? I don't know, he said, and she could feel a tinge of sadness in his thought. Some place-deeper. Where we'd really be together. But you won't open your mindâ⬠¦. Morgead, what are you talking about? What do you think is going on? He seemed genuinely surprised. Don't you know? It's the soulmate principle. Jez felt the floor drop away beneath her. No. That's not possible. That can't be. She wasn't talking to Morgead anymore; she was desperately trying to convince herself. I'm not soulmates with Morgead. I can't be. We hate each other â⬠¦ he hates me â⬠¦ all we ever do is fight. . . He's impossible and dangerous and hotheaded and stubbornâ⬠¦ he's crazyâ⬠¦ he's angry and hostile . . . he's frustrating and infuriating and he loves to make me miserable . .. And I don't even believe in soulmates. And even if I did, I wouldn't believe it could happen like this, just bang, out of the blue, like getting hit by a train when you're not looking, without any warning or even any attraction to the person beforehandâ⬠¦. But the very hysteria of her own thoughts was a bad sign. Anything that could tear away her self-control like this was powerful almost beyond imagination. And she could still feel it pulling at her, trying to strip off the layers of cloud she was hiding behind. It wanted Morgead to see her as she truly was. And it was trying to show her Morgead. Flashes of his Me, of himself. Glimpses that hit her and seemed to cut cleanly through her, leaving her gasping with their intensity. A little boy with a mop of tousled dark hair and eyes like emerald, watching his mother walk out the door with some man-again. Going to play alone in the darkness, amusing himself. And then meeting a little redheaded girl, a girl with silvery-blue eyes and a flashing smile. And not being alone anymore. And walking on fences with her in the cool night air, chasing small animals, falling and gigglingâ⬠¦. A slightly older boy with longer hair that fell around his face, uncared-for. Watching his mother walk out one last time, never to come back. Hunting for food, sleeping in an empty house that got messier and messier. Learning to care for himself. Training himself. Getting harder, in mind and body, seeing a sullen expression when he looked in the mirrorâ⬠¦ A boy even older watching humans, who were weak and silly and short-lived, but who had all the things he didn't have. Family, security, food every night. Watching the Night People, the elders, who felt no responsibility to help an abandoned vampire childâ⬠¦. I never knew, Jez thought. She still felt dizzy, as if she couldn't get enough air. The images were dazzling in their clarity and they tore at her heart. A boy who started a gang to create a family, and who went first to the little girl with red hair. The two of them grinning wickedly, running wild in the streets, finding others. Collecting kids the adults couldn't control or wouldn't miss. Walking around the worst parts of town, unafraid-because they had one another now. The images were coming faster, and Jez could hardly keep up with them. Dashing through the metal scrap yardâ⬠¦ with Jez â⬠¦ Hiding under a fish-smelling wharfâ⬠¦ from Jezâ⬠¦ His first big kill, a stag in the hills of San Rafael.. . and Jez there to share the hot blood that warmed and intoxicated and brought life all at once. Fear and happiness and anger and arguments, hurt and sadness and exasperation-but always with Jez interwoven into the fabric. She was always there in his memories, fire-colored hair streaming behind her, heavy-lashed eyes snapping with challenge and excitement. She was everything bright and eager and brave and honest. She was haloed with flame. I didn't knowâ⬠¦ how could I know? How could I realize I meant so much to himâ⬠¦ ? And who would have thought it would mean so much to her when she found out? She was stunned, overcome-but something inside her was singing, too. She was happy about it. She could feel something bubbling up that she hadn't even realized was there; a wild and heady delight that seemed to shoot out to the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet. Morgead, she whispered with her mind. She could sense him, but for once he didn't answer. She felt his sudden fear, his own desire to run and hide. He hadn't meant to show her these things. They were being forced out of him by the same power that was dragging at Jez. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to look, she thought to him. I'll go awayâ⬠¦. No. Suddenly he wasn't hiding anymore. No, I don't want you to go. I want you to stay. Jez felt herself flow toward him, helplessly. The truth was that she didn't know if she could turn away even if he'd wanted her to. She could feel his mind touching hers-she could taste the very essence of his soul. And it made her tremble. This was like nothing she'd ever felt before. It was so strangeâ⬠¦ but so wonderful. A pleasure that she couldn't have dreamed of. To be this close, and to be getting closer, like fire and bright darkness merging â⬠¦ To feel her mind opening to himâ⬠¦ And then the distant echo of fear, like an animal screaming a warning. Are you insane? This is Morgead. Let him see your soulâ⬠¦ pry open your innermost secretsâ⬠¦ and you won't live long enough to regret it. He'll tear your throat out the instant he finds outâ⬠¦ Jez flinched wildly from the voice. She didn't want to resist the pull to Morgead any longer. But fear was shivering through her, poisoning the warmth and closeness, freezing the edges of her mind. And she knew that the voice was the only rationality left in her. Do you want to die? it asked her point-blank. Jez, Morgead was saying quietly. What's wrong? Why won't you let it happen? Not just you dying, the voice said. All those others. Claire and Aunt Nan and Uncle Jim and Ricky. Hughâ⬠¦ Something white-hot flickered through her. Hugh. Whom she loved. Who couldn't fight for himself. She hadn't even thought of him since she'd entered Morgead's mind-and that terrified her. How could she have forgotten him? For the last year Hugh had represented everything good to her. He'd awakened feelings in her that she'd never had before. And he was the one person she would never betray. Jez, Morgead said. Jez did the only thing she could think of. She threw an image at him, a picture to stir his memories. A picture of her walking out, leaving the gang, leaving him. It wasn't a real picture, of course. It was a symbol. It was bait. And she felt it hit Morgead's mind and clash there, and strike memories that flew like sparks. The first meeting of the gang with her not there. Questions. Puzzlement. All of them searching for her, trying to find a hint of her unique Power signature on the streets. At first laughing as they called for her, making it a game, then the laughter turning into annoyance as she stayed missing. Then annoyance turning into worry. Her uncle Bracken's house. The gang crowded on the doorstep with Morgead in front. Uncle Bracken looking lost and sad. ââ¬Å"I don't know where she is. She just-disappeared.â⬠And worry turning into gut-wrenching fear. Fear and anger and sorrow and betrayal. If she wasn't dead, then she'd abandoned him. Just like everyone else. Just like his mother. And that grief and fury building, both perfectly balanced because Morgead didn't know which was the truth. But always with the knowledge, either way, that the world was cold because she was gone. And thenâ⬠¦ her appearing in his room today. Obviously alive. Insultingly healthy. And unforgivably casual as she told him he would never know why she'd left. Jez felt Morgead's outrage swelling up, a dark wave inside him, a coldness that felt no mercy for anyone and only wanted to hurt and kill. It was filling him, sweeping everything else away. Just being in contact with it started her heart pounding and shortened her breath. Its raw violence was terrifying. You left me! he snarled at her, three syllables with a world of bitterness behind them. I had to. And I'll never tell you why. Jez could feel her own eyes stinging; she supposed he could sense how it hurt her to say that. But it was the only thing that would work. The pull between them was weakening, being smashed away by his anger. You're a traitor, he said. And the image behind it was that of everyone who'd ever betrayed a friend or a lover or a cause for the most selfish of reasons. Every betrayer from the history of the human world or the Night World. That was what Morgead thought of her. I don't care what you think, she said. You never cared, he shot back. I know that now. I don't know why I ever thought differently. The force that had been trying to drag them together had thinned to a silver thread of connection. And that was good-it was necessary, Jez told herself. She made an effort and felt herself slide away from Morgead's mind, and then further, and then further. You'd better not forget it again, she said. It was easier to be nasty when she couldn't feel his reactions. It might be bad for your health. Don't worry, he told her briefly. I can take care of myself. And you'd better believe I'll never forget. The thread was so fine and taut that Jez could hardly sense it now. She felt an odd lurch inside her, a pleading, but she knew what needed to be done. I do what I want to, for my own reasons, she said. And nobody questions me. I'm leader, remember? Snap! It was a physical sensation, the feeling of breaking away, as Morgead was carried off on a wave of his own black anger. He was retreating from her so fast that it made her dizzyâ⬠¦. And then her eyes were open and she was in her own body. Jez blinked, trying to focus on the room. She was looking up at the ceiling, and everything was too bright and too large and too fuzzy. Morgead's arms were around her and her throat was arched back, still exposed. Every nerve was quivering. Then suddenly the arms around her let go and she fell. She landed on her back, still blinking, trying to gather herself and figure out which muscles moved what. Her throat stung, and she could feel dampness there. She was giddy. ââ¬Å"What's wrong with you? Get up and get out,â⬠Morgead snarled. Jez focused on him. He looked very tall from her upside-down vantage point. His green eyes were as cold as chips of gemstone. Then she realized what was wrong. ââ¬Å"You took too much blood, you jerk.â⬠She tried to put her usual acidity into the words, to cover up her weakness. ââ¬Å"It was just supposed to be a ritual thing, but you lost control. I should've known you would.â⬠Something flickered in Morgead's eyes, but then his mouth hardened. ââ¬Å"Tough,â⬠he said shortly. ââ¬Å"You shouldn't have given me the chance.â⬠ââ¬Å"I won't make the same mistake again!â⬠She struggled to a sitting position, trying not to show the effort it cost her. The problem-again-was that she wasn't a vampire. She couldn't recover as quickly from loss of bloodâ⬠¦ but Morgead didn't know that. Not that he'd care, anyway. Part of her winced at that, tried to argue, but Jez brushed it aside. She needed all her strength and every wall she could build if she was going to get past what had happened. It shouldn't have happened, whatever it had been. It had been some horrible mistake, and she was lucky to have gotten away with her life. And from now on, the only thing to do was try to forget it. ââ¬Å"I probably should tell you why I'm here,â⬠she said, and got to her feet without a discernable wobble. ââ¬ËI forgot to mention it before.â⬠ââ¬Å"Why you came back? I don't even want to know.â⬠He only wanted her to leave; she could tell that from his posture, from the tense way he was pacing. ââ¬Å"You will when I tell you.â⬠She didn't have the energy to yell at him the way she wanted. She couldn't afford the luxury of going with her emotions. ââ¬Å"Why do you always think you know what I want?â⬠he snapped, his back to her. ââ¬Å"Okay. Be like that. You probably wouldn't appreciate the chance anyway.â⬠Morgead whirled. He glared at her in a way that meant he could think of too many nasty things to say to settle on one. Finally he just said almost inaudibly, ââ¬Å"What chance?â⬠ââ¬Å"I didn't come back just to take over the gang. I want to do things with it. I want to make us more powerful.â⬠In the old days the idea would have made him grin, put a wicked sparkle in his eyes. They'd always agreed on power, if nothing else. Now he just stood there. He stared at her. His expression changed slowly from cold fury to suspicion to dawning insight. His green eyes narrowed, then widened. He let out his breath. And then he threw back his head and laughed and laughed and laughed. Jez said nothing, just watched him, inconspicuously testing her balance and feeling relieved that she could stand without fainting. At last, though, she couldn't stand the sound of that laughing anymore. There was very little humor in it. ââ¬Å"Want to share the joke?â⬠ââ¬ËIt's just â⬠¦ of course. I should have known. Maybe I did know, underneath.â⬠He was still chuckling, but it was a vicious noise, and his eyes were distant and full of something like hatred. Maybe self-hatred. Certainly bitterness. Jez felt a chill. ââ¬Å"There's only one thing that could have brought you back. And I should have realized that from the instant you turned up. It wasn't concern for anybody here; it's got nothing to do with the gang.â⬠He looked her straight in the face, his lips curved in a perfect, malevolent smile. He had never been more handsome, or more cold. ââ¬Å"I know what it is, Jez Redfern. I know exactly why you're here today.ââ¬
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